CTS Writes

Longlisted for the Retreat West monthly microfiction November ’22 and Free Flash Fiction competition 13 Read more

Sometimes having punny bones pays off. It seems I managed to write the winning joke in this year’s Gold channel Christmas Cracker joke competition, as well as also sneaking in at #10. It’s nothing short of a Christmas miracle! https://corporate.uktv.co.uk/news/article/gold-2022-top-10-christmas-cracker-jokes/ https://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2022/12/05/52204/the_best_topical_christmas_cracker_jokes_of_2022_are… https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11501639/Yule-elf-Christmas-crackers-years-ten-festive-gags-revealed.html https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2022/dec/05/truss-holly-and-phil-and-mps-inspire-uks-best-christmas-cracker-jokes Read more

A piece I wrote for the Women Writer’s magazing Mslexia about what it’s like to write when you live with Multiple Sclerosis. Spoiler alert: weird and irksome. Read more

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VAGINA DENTATA Why, when I was a young mam’selle,I weren’t no normal damsel!I found my downstairs lacked a certain appeal,I would have to brush twice after every meal.I’m a sensitive soul, but my boyfriend was mean,When instead of KY he applied Listerine…And oh, the shame!What this issue became!But he got a real shock,When it bit… Read more

A couple of little ditties I was commissioned to compose for the Marks & Spencer #MyMarksFave Christmas campaign. Plus over 848k views on Facebook and 386k views on Twitter Plus over 946k views on Facebook. Read more