CTS Writes

I turn 44 tomorrow. I know, I don’t look a day over 43 *strikes obnoxious pose*. Since I turned the big 4-0 during the pandemic I’ve been updating a list of things the last four and a half decades have taught me. Here they are:

1. If you spend your life trying to be someone else’s idea of beautiful, you’ll never like what you see in the mirror.

2. Power naps are not just for Nanas.

3. Never underestimate the importance of irreverent humour in awful situations like hospital wards, police stations, and funerals.

4. Don’t define yourself by what you don’t have, but by what you do.

5. Be a little bit braver.

6. Know the difference between fixing and helping. Always try to help people, but you’ll never fix them, so don’t try.

7. Music makes everything better. Always.

8. Don’t compare the inside of your life with the outside of everyone else’s.

9. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt once.

10. Just because you enjoy comfortable shoes and dungarees, doesn’t mean you should question your sexuality.

11. Telling someone how you feel won’t kill you. Holding it in forever, however, just might.

12. Fitted sheets aren’t meant to be ironed.

13. Never stop creating.

14. Don’t strive to be perfect. Strive to be happy.

15. Never stop hand-writing letters.

16. Offence is taken, not given. The choice is yours.

17. Never underestimate the power of dancing on your own, but never turn down the chance to dance with someone else.

18. No amount of sadness or pain can’t be improved with cheese on toast.

19. Goodbyes won’t kill you.

20. No matter how grown up you think you are, you will always wash tissues in your pockets.

21. Don’t take more from a relationship than you’re prepared to put in.

22. Believe people’s actions, not their words.

23. Write more. There will be someone out there who’ll want to read it.

24. You don’t have to squeeze a human out of your own vagina to have someone you’d be willing to kill or die for.

25. Embrace and celebrate your love of Orinoco Flow.

26. Not everyone buys houses, has fancy holidays, gets married and has children so don’t measure the quality of your life by milestones that are few and far between. It’s everything in between that counts.

27. Hold onto your mix tapes.

28. Your body will do things you don’t like and can’t control. But it’s the only one you’ve got, so love it hard, and don’t try and turn it into something it’s not.

29. ABBA aren’t completely terrible.

30. Don’t keep your heart to yourself because you’re scared someone else will break it. There’s more glue around than you think.

31. You’re stronger than you realise.

32. No-one cares about that spot on your forehead, that wobble on your tummy or that whisker on your chin as much as you. Get over it.

33. If you never stop learning about yourself, you’ll never stop growing. Always grow.

34. Don’t expect anything from anyone else. You’ll never be disappointed, but you will always be pleasantly surprised.

35. Get your vitamin D.

36. Don’t look to find your place in the world. Make it for yourself.

37. Always act out of love, not fear.

38. It’s okay to ask for and to accept help.

39. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh until you ugly cry.

40. If you can be only one thing, be kind.

41. Worries cannot find you in gardens, fields and forests. When things get too much, Mother Nature always has your back.

42. It’s never too late to make positive changes.

43. There are worse things in the world than jazz.

44. Find happiness in the littlest things: birdsong, flowers, your favourite mug, a friendly cat, a cool butterfly, the smile from a stranger, watching dogs make friends, finding a shiny 50p piece, learning a constellation and looking for it on clear nights. It’ll build you a stronger baseline for joy for when the storms come along.